How I juggled work and IVF

 

Understand the process and this will help you manage your diary

In my first round of IVF, I had no idea what to expect – I was literally heading in blind with no concept of what they would do or how much time I’d need to spend at the clinic.

Now it will vary from the treatment plan to treatment plan so don’t quote me on this, but the biggest learning I had was to keep mornings free in my diary.  Usually, I fill my diary with meetings in the morning, but in my first cycle, I ended up very stressed as every day in the first week I was having to cancel 4-5 morning meetings so I could make my scans/tests. Typically they do mornings so they have time to get your blood tests back by mid-afternoon and they can optimise your medication that evening accordingly.  Now I book nothing in the mornings and it works a lot better.

IVF clinics open early (7-8 am) as they like to do procedures early, so where possible ask for the early slots so you can be back at your desk for 9 am. It’s not always possible as it will depend on your doctor’s schedule and what procedures they have that day but always ask.

There are key times such as egg retrieval where you’ll be in for a procedure under anaesthetic and so you’ll need to take that day off, but once in the cycle, you can have a good idea of what day this will be give or take one. While they say you can go back to work the day after – I struggle to do this, so I usually book 2-3 days off or WFH on days 2 or 3.

Likewise, when it comes to implantation time, typically it’s 18-19 days into your cycle and so you can make a rough estimate again and plan your time. This is less invasive and does not need anaesthetic, but they recommend bed rest same day and usually the next – so at least plan to tick over WFH in bed.

But ultimately for two weeks after you need to minimise activity and generally avoid as much stress as you can.  Easier said than done when running a business or managing the corporate juggle I know.

Observe how you react physically and mentally and adapt your schedule accordingly

After a while, you learn how your body reacts to the whole process. For example, on day three of hormone stimulation, it hits me like a pile of bricks and I cry and am generally a bit of a mess, so now I just take this day off or WFH.

If you do multiple cycles you will learn how your body reacts to the medication and also with the anaesthetic and how many days of recovery you need. I thought I’d be back at work the next day no problem – but now I know it takes me 4-5 days to get the anaesthetic out of my system and feel well again.  Just watch and learn as this will help you navigate it all better.

Self-care

I know we talk about self-care a lot, but it is so important. This is a brutal and tiring process that takes its toll on you mentally and physically, so factor in doing things that make you happy.

Massages may not appeal as you can be quite bloated and sore from the injections, but maybe a blow-dry, a facial or getting your nails done would be a nice treat.

Plenty of Netflix time relaxing in PJs in bed, tea and cake with your girlfriends – whatever makes you happy and you enjoy, try and do as much of it as you can, for you.

Oh, and sleep!  Sleep is one of the best things you can do during this period, so make sure you get your 8 hours a night minimum.

Curate your IVF wardrobe!

Bear with me here, it’s not as superficial as it sounds and there is rationale to my madness.

It varies from person to person, but I usually gain about 10 pounds every IVF stimulation cycle and I feel so bloated and uncomfortable, so I like to wear loose, floaty and soft fabrics that are comfortable and soothing.  I prefer dresses or loose elasticated trousers.  I often have hot flushes and am very sensitive to heat with the hormones, so light and airy is the way forward.

I also end up wearing long sleeves too or have jackets to throw over dresses as it saves explaining your bruised arms from the blood tests. Also, on a practical note, scans are so much easier in a dress or skirt – so factor that in on scan days!

I mean it’s a good excuse to treat yourself to a few new bits!

What about the guys?

Now I’m all for equality and each of us stepping up and doing our bit, but when it comes to IVF the reality is the woman is the cold hard face of it.

You’re the one who needs to do the often daily scans and blood.  You’re the one that goes through all the procedures. Your husband just gets locked in the “sample” cupboard for a bit which frankly is a great end of the deal.

But jokes aside, you are in this together and so if as the husband you can apply the same approach and are able to be flexible with work to accompany your wife to her appointments I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.

But if not, just factor in the key timings so you can at least make 1-2 appointments a week to show support. If you can find a way to be part of the journey and make it work with your job, then do so as you are on this journey together.

The IVF process will never be an easy one, but there are definitely ways to make it easier and more bearable especially when juggling a busy day job or business which we need to in order to cover the crazy medical bills!

So, for those embarking on this journey or new to it, or even if you know someone going through it or you’re the boss or line manager to a person on this path, I hope this gives you a little insight and edge to navigate through the best you can and support those who may need it at a pivotal time in their life.

If we can find ways to speak about the things that scare us or make us feel uncomfortable, such as IVF, we open up a space for us to create new conversation and understanding. Only good things can come from there, not just in the right now but for future generations too.

Published by Arabian Business on Tuesday 27 July 2021 11:07 AM.